I’m 27 today. Like my 26th, 25th and all the birthdays before this one, I realize that I don’t know it all. I don’t have all the answers to why we’re here, where we came from, what we should be doing, etc. All I know is what I’ve lived thus far. I am not wise beyond my years, and I certainly don’t think I’m better than any readers out there. I am just a 27 year old girl sharing what I’ve learned in my 27 years of life.
- No dream is too small or too big to pursue
Whatever you dream of doing, go after it.
Your dreams don’t have to be world-changing to matter. You don’t have to end world hunger or aid in world peace to make a difference.
It may be as simple as learning an instrument or finding true love. It doesn’t need to be big and grand. It just needs to be yours.
Your dreams might require work to get there, and they might take time. But, time will pass regardless of how you choose to live your life, so why not live a life where you follow your dreams?
2. A smile can make someone’s day
We are all struggling with something.
Every. single. one. of. us.
A smile can go a long way when you’re having a bad day. So don’t hold back those big, beautiful pearly whites. When you’re feeling happy, share it with the world. Hopefully someone will reciprocate on a day when you could really use it.
3. It’s never too late to say sorry
Is it too late now to say sorry?
No, Justin Bieber, it’s not.
It’s never too late.
Minutes, hours, days, months, years. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed. If you are sorry, say it.
4. You will only ever regret the things you didn’t do
I watched a beautiful video the other day where a chalkboard was placed in New York City with a heading that said “My biggest regret is…”. The thing that every single person’s regrets had in common was the word “not”.
People wrote things like….
I regret not saying “I love you”.
I regret not saying “yes”.
I regret not getting my MBA.
I regret not going to Europe.
I regret not spending more time with my parents.
What do you regret?
Whatever it is, go out and do it. It’s not too late.
5. Surround yourself with people who build you up, not people who bring you down
You are never going to please everyone. People will hate on you for trying. People will hate on you for not trying. People will hate on you for failing, succeeding, loving big, not loving at all. It doesn’t matter what you do, people are gonna hate.
Instead of getting sad, depressed, anxious or angry, choose to surround yourself by people who don’t hate. Surround yourself by people who care about you, support you, and ALWAYS build you up. People who will give you honest feedback and call you out on your bullshit.
Let the people go who tell you that you CAN’T. Don’t hang out with people who put you down. They aren’t worth your time, and you will be better off without them.
6. Inhale the good shit. Exhale the bullshit.
Seriously, just let it go.
The office politics. The boy drama. The cat fights with girlfriends. The petty arguments. The difference of opinion. The sibling rivalries. The self hate.
LET IT GO.
Stop holding onto the things that no longer serve you. The people who treated you badly. The things your parents said or did. The name your best friend called you.
I often hold onto stuff. If you have hurt my feelings in my lifetime, I probably remember it. It does me absolutely no good to hold grudges about things that don’t matter. I know this, yet I still hold onto them.
This year for me is about letting that shit go.
Inhale good shit. Exhale bullshit.
7. Be yourself
We all want to look good. We don’t want to look stupid or silly. We don’t want to be bad at things.
I see this all the time as a yoga teacher. Students are glancing around at other students comparing themselves.
I’ve done it too. I am not immune to the whole trying to look good thing.
People are going to judge you regardless of how good you look, so why not let them judge an authentic version of yourself? Why not let people get to know who you really are instead of some phony act that is sort of you?
Life is so much easier when you focus on being who you want to be and not who other people want you to be. To say and do what feels good for you. To wear what you want. To simply allow people to place their judgements on you without care.
Try it! Just go out and be you. Really, truly be you.
8. We could all use a little more empathy
People don’t need you to solve their problems for them. Sometimes all they want is to feel like they’ve been heard.
The next time an annoying office colleague complains about her love life, why not try empathizing with her?
Instead of thinking to yourself, “it’s because you date total losers”, while saying out loud, “oh, that sucks”, try something like “it sounds like you’re feeling pretty frustrated by the men you’ve met recently.” You may be surprised by her reaction.
9. Weight is just a number
As a woman, weight is sort of this taboo topic. Magazines and media tell us what we should look like, what size we should wear, and how much it is appropriate to weigh before you’re deemed fat.
In the world of physics, “the weight of an object is defined as the force of gravity on the object and may be calculated as the mass times the acceleration of gravity, w = mg. Since the weight is a force, its SI unit is the newton.”
Umm what?! Can someone please remind me why we give this obscure concept so much time and energy? Why we beat ourselves up over it? Why we shame ourselves over it for not being what we think it should be?
I am a big believer in healthy eating, a balanced diet and lifestyle, and I am definitely not pro-obesity.
I do believe in self-love, self-esteem, and self-acceptance though.
Stop basing your self-worth on the number that is on the scale, and start basing it on how you look and feel every day.
10. You never know when a stranger will become a friend
We are brought up to be scared of strangers. Our parents tell us as children not to talk to strangers. I’ve spent most of my adult life avoiding strangers, just as I was taught as a young girl. While traveling, my view on talking to strangers changed, as there were times when I relied on strangers to help me. I’ve trusted that they weren’t going to take advantage of me, steal my money, or harm me. What I’ve learned is that, for the most part, people are innately good. They are often fascinating. And you never know what stranger will become a friend. Friendship can happen when you least expect it, so what harm does a “hello”, “how are you?” or “have a good day!” do?
11. You’re not alone
Whatever you’re going through, you’re not alone.
There is always going to be someone who has it worse, and who has it better.
If you’re suffering, someone else out there is suffering too.
It’s easy to get caught up in a victimizing mindset with the belief that you got dealt a bad hand in this game of life.
I’m sorry to burst your woe-is-me bubble, but it’s not the case.
We all suffer pain, hurt, hardship to certain degrees. Some have it better than others, but at the end of the day, we’re all in it together.
12. Labels do no good
When I was in grade 6, a group of boys called me fat. I carried that label with me until I was well into my twenties and finally realized that I’m not even close to being fat. I’m 5’7”, and I almost always wear a size 6.
Alongside being “fat”, I was also not friends with the “cool kids”. I decided to change that. I ditched my friends and did everything I had to do to be “cool”. I had no interest in being deemed fat and uncool for through the remainder of middle school and into high school.
Somewhere along the way, I picked up the label “smart” and carried that around with me for a while.
When I got to university, I realized that I wasn’t actually that smart, and that I was just sort of “average”.
I made up for it by being a “party girl”. You did well on that test? Well, I got really drunk instead of studying.
Then, I graduated and went traveling. I’ve taken on the labels of “traveler”, “adventurer”, “explorer”, etc.
I worked a corporate job when I got back from traveling and became a “city girl”. I wore pencil skirts and cute blouses and took the train to and from work.
I got sick of being a “city girl” so I moved to the mountains and became a “hippie”. I began practicing more yoga and became a “yogini”.
Most recently, I’ve become an “entrepreneur”.
Throughout our lives, we take on hundreds of different labels. What I’ve learned about labels is that they do very little good.
They create a fixed mindset in which it makes it hard to change. My friends from my “party girl” phase expect me to be that party girl and not the kombucha-sipping “yogini” that my mountain friends know me to be.
The reality? All of them describe me at different times in my life. We all change, grow and evolve, and with that our passions, interests and hobbies shift as well.
The next time you go to smack a label on someone’s forehead, perhaps think twice. Remind yourself that that person is simply a human, just like you or I. What they choose to do for a living, wear, or do in their spare time makes them no better or worse than you, just different.
13. Vulnerability isn’t weakness
Brene Brown has taught me everything I know about vulnerability and the power of being vulnerable.
Being vulnerable is actually the exact opposite of being weak. Being vulnerable is showing strength and courage. Being vulnerable is what being human is all about.
Opening up and being vulnerable is when you will truly begin to grow. It is when you will learn the most about yourself and other people. It is how you will step out of comfort zone and find happiness.
14. Spend money on experiences, not things
My wardrobe is completely out of control. I have way more clothing than one girl ever needs. And all of it has cost me my hard earned money.
When I spend money on things I don’t need, there is less money for experiences.
Many people believe that material things last longer than the memories of experiences, but they don’t actually make you happy in the long term. The experiences I’ve had in my life make me a lot happier than the material things I’ve purchased, so stop collecting stuff and start collecting memories.
15. Do something you’re passionate about
When I was deciding what to study in university, my thought process was as follows:
I’m smart so I could be a doctor, but I don’t like blood. I don’t really like conflict so I don’t want to be a lawyer. I will never make money as an artist or a writer…. so I’ll go to business school.
WHY DIDN’T SOME WISE ADULT SHAKE ME VIOLENTLY AND TELL ME THIS IS CRAZY!?
Stop doing things that you don’t care about just to make money.
If you do something that you are truly passionate about, you won’t need as much money because you will feel more fulfilled. And, if you become really good at what you’re passionate about, you will most likely be able to make money doing it.
16. Accept yourself
You only get one life. Why not spend it accepting who you are, instead of shaming, blaming and hating yourself?
We spend so much time criticizing ourselves, beating ourselves up for the things we did or didn’t do, and so much time wishing we looked different.
What happened to looking in the mirror and smiling because we’re beautiful? What happened to forgiving ourselves for the things we did and didn’t do?
We want people to love us, yet how can someone love you if you don’t love yourself?
Put yourself first. Give yourself a big hug and tell yourself you love YOU, because at the end of the day, that’s all that really matters.
17. Listen to your body
Your body is wise and it tells you exactly what it needs each and everyday.
Our society has become so disconnected from the body that we hardly recognize when our body is telling us something. It is though. Each and every day, our body is telling us what we need, and it is just a matter of tuning in and listening.
You yawn when you’re tired. Your stomach growls when you’re hungry. You feel achy when you’re sick.
Yet, we live in an overworked, over caffeinated, under slept society where we are constantly on the go, choking down coffee instead of food, or punishing ourselves at the gym for the things we did eat.
If you slow down for just a moment and listen to the signs and symptoms that your body is giving you, it will probably tell you to stop. Perhaps you should listen. I mean, you only get one body. Why not treat it well?
18. Discover things for yourself
Word of mouth is a beautiful thing, but so is forming your own opinion and discovering things for yourself.
If I only based my decisions on what people told me, I would never have traveled to Colombia. People told me not to go. That it was too dangerous. That something bad was going to happen.
Colombia is my favorite country in South America and I have never regretted for a moment going, but I had to discover that for myself.
Don’t make decisions based on what everyone else is doing and what you’ve been told is cool. Do and see the things that you want to do, and decide for yourself if they’re cool or not.
20. Things rarely go as planned
This is a lesson I continuously learn, and it’s a hard one.
When we place expectations on a situation, a person, a day or a place, we are often disappointed. We have imagined how things should be and when they are different, we get upset, frustrated, angry and sad.
But, when we go in without any expectations, we are almost always pleased. There was nothing to live up to, so it’s almost impossible to be disappointed.
Let go of the need to control the way things go, and allow things to just happen. You might just be pleasantly surprised.
21. Age is just a number
Age is a number that has been given meaning. Society tells us that we should do things at certain ages, and that we shouldn’t do things at other ages. Society tells us that we should hang out with people our own age.
But why?
Age is simply a numerical representation of how many times the Earth has rotated around the sun in our lifetime.
Do what you want regardless of how young or old you are, and hang out with the people that you want to.
22. It’s fear that’s holding you back
Why aren’t you following your dreams? Why aren’t you taking that trip? Why aren’t you applying for that new job? Why aren’t you going on that date? Why aren’t you trying something new?
Because you’re afraid.
I’m afraid too.
We’re all afraid.
If you allow the fear to hold you back, you will never go outside of your comfort zone. The reality is that the fear will never go away, but the more that you conquer your fears the easier it becomes.
23. Tell people how you feel
We live in a society that encourages us to pretend like everything’s okay all the time.
We ask “how are you?” and we expect to hear “good” back. The last time someone said, “I’m not so great”, how did you feel? It was probably a bit awkward.
I encourage you to express your feelings — good, bad, happy, sad.
Tell people when they’ve hurt your feelings, and tell them when they’ve warmed your heart. Compliment people, and provide constructive feedback. Be honest and stop holding your feelings inside.
24. Be a life-long learner
You will never know everything about anything. It is impossible to know it all, so spend time each day learning something new, analyzing it, and forming an opinion on it.
Learn about things that you don’t know about, and things you are interested in. Learn about things that you aren’t that interested in. Perhaps, you will find a new interest out of the things that you learn.
Stay curious about what there is to learn from the people and places around you. It is easy to believe that we have gained all we can from the things around us, but if you open your eyes and shift your perspective, you will realize that you only know a fraction of what there is to learn.
Learn about anything. Just never stop learning.
25. Always stay curious
Look at the world through the eyes of a child, as if you were seeing everything for the very first time.
Be curious about why things are the way they are.
Be curious about the people around you.
It is easy to allow things to simply become routine, boring, and uninteresting, but life is so much more interesting when you are curious about the people, places and things that surround you.
26. We are not innately good or bad at things
There is this idea that some people are better at things than other people, and yes, maybe they are. But, the people who are really good at something are often discredited for the work that they put into what they are good at.
If you want to be good at something, you have to practice.
You can’t expect to step on a yoga mat and do a headstand. You can’t expect to step on a basketball court and do a full dunk. These things take time and practice.
If you want to be good at something, practice doing it. If you want to not suck at something, practice doing it.
You are not innately good or bad at anything, you are only as good as the experience you have doing that thing.
27. Love your life — you only get one!
Stop doing the things that you don’t enjoy doing. Stop hanging out with the people who don’t make you happy. Stop living a life that doesn’t make you happy.
Say yes to new experiences more. Travel to more places. Spend more time laughing than crying (unless you’re laughing so hard you’re crying). Sing more. Dance more. Hug more. Love more.
Do more of what makes you feel good, and less of what makes you feel bad.
When all’s said and done, you only have one life, so spend your time enjoying it.
Life is crazy and awesome and overwhelming, and we are constantly learning, growing and changing. These are simply the lessons I have found to be most important in my life so far. What did you learn in your twenties that I haven’t learned?
Wishing you a year filled with happiness, learning & growth!
Amanda